(OOC- This journal is hidden and no one can come across it unless Isabella hands it over to you. Please do not cross and assume anything when roleplaying. Thank you)
Friday, April 28, 2006
Sold and owned again..
A couple of days had passed and I spent the day looking around the Isle. Although I have met but a few, it seems to be a nice place. I met my Master near the Jarl Jabaris home when Master Dom entered. My Master tapped my thigh once more and after kneeling quietly and the men spoke was when I realized that I was being sold. Master Halas had reduced the price since Master Dom and he agreed if Master Dom became displeased with me and wanted me gone. Lucien, who was allowed to stay as my handler would go in search of the slaver and come back for me with purchase of course.
The collar was removed and I lifted my gaze to meet my new Masters. Bare throat if only for a moment. Long wavy curls feel beautifully over my shoulders and soon Master Dominion Kross' collar caressed my slender throat.
I cannot lie and say it did not hurt to see Master Halas leave because I loved my Master very much but I would miss him. I am now the kajira of another and I will always honor his name...La Kajira, owned by Dominion Kross.
Friday, April 28, 2006
My Master, Dominion Kross
After Master Halas had left. My new Master noticed how my eyes teared for Halas and he spoke low to me while caressing my cheek. I smiled up to him and he saw that I was one who gave my all to him, who owned me. I assured my Master that it would not be long before I was feeling the same for him. He does not realize that the few times we spent together . It had already brought me closer to him.
It was not long before I was truly claimed completely by my Master and I knew then, I was His..He has allowed me to keep my name and for that I am pleased, the meaning alone tells exactly who I am and who I belong to each time he whispers my name in my ear..In truth he is making sure I know I am 'His'. When his furs are warmed and he sleeps peacefully. I can not help but nuzzle close and study my Master in his sleep. I memorize everything about him. Kings, he is so handsome and so strong..Just thinking about it makes me shudder with anticipation of being close to him..
I can say without a doubt that I am very happy with my new Master. Lucien sees it in my eyes when I speak of him and for that is quite pleased..
Monday, May 1, 2006
Each time I am left marked by him..
Each day I am drawn closer. Each time left marked by him. Two bites left bruises in the crook of my neck and shoulder. Each time I am left soar from his claiming and the thought of it alone causes me to shudder delightfully. I remember when Master Halas had left and I thought a void was left but my Master has filled that void beyond what I could imagine.
After tending to my Masters things and room. I walk along the beachfronts with Lucien. He sees how much I enjoy the view and listening to the waves crashing onto shore. I have to admit the Isle is beautiful although I have not come across many free. But the company of my Master satisfies me.
He seemed lost in thought when I ran in his direction. Heels crashing lightly against the packed sands with its water weight leaving footprints behind. After nearing him, I lowered to my knees with the parting of thighs as wide as they could go for his pleasure. The joy of his presence seen but I could see he was disturbed by something but I never asked why. I in turn would make him forget his trouble if only for a moments time. He reached for me and in his embrace I fell. His mouth crashing harshly against my tender ones to bruise them deliciously.
I was pulled into his lap, my thighs spreading to straddle him and it was there I caressed and showered him with kisses. Offering my body to him since he owned every inch of it. I could see his mood changing and I was pleased to help. Before I knew it, He was up and carrying me to a more secluded area where every inch of my body was violated by him in the most perfect way. The grasp of his thick fingers in my hair, his grinding body against mine, his lips upon those sensitive areas which caused violent shakes and screams where the nearing guards could clearly hear. And the filling of my soul, crashing onto me with such claiming force. As I write this, I can't help feel the moisture building. He excites me..and afterwards...
I could still remember my Master telling me he may pierce my..well..The thought sounds quite painful but he says that it may bring more pleasure. Imagine, more pleasure when My Master has already fulfilled my many yearnings but if he wishes to pierce me, it is his call not mine. I will do anything to bring pleasure to him always.
I am left marked and soar yet again, which only reminds me I am his and his alone..I even told him I loved him and he in turn said the same to me which makes me happy. It also tells me I am accomplishing my duty as his slave and pleasing him in beauty and obedience..and living up to my name, a perfect name..His..
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
Challenges of being set free..
I loved Dominion since the first day he took claim of me when I was his slave. I could still feel the bites on the crook of my neck and shoulder while our bodies became one. Left with marks and bruises which stated I was well used by him. The way he held me tight and his harsh grasp through my tresses..I knew I loved him and my goal was to always keep him happy.
He was also struggling with his feelings towards me. He could not deny the fact he was falling in love with a woman, not just his slave and it pleased me so much to hear him say it. The day came when he finally decided to set me free. I could not express the fear which coursed through me at that very moment. Would I be a good companion? By having the privilege of being a freewoman, would I change to something I do not like? I have been shown a different world. I had accepted what many women feared, to kneel before the feet of men and serve with pride.
Now that I think about it, its ironic...I was a freewoman once turned slave and I am now a freewoman again. My status returned to me but I feel as though so much is missing. Maybe its the fact I have to change a few important things about myself now which back then I had the freedom to do..for example..
Today was one of the hardest days I faced since set free and believe me each day since has been hard. I wanted to go to a place where there was springs or the beach and just remove all my clothing and jump into the water. Afterwards after combing through my hair with my fingers, to lay and let Tor-tu-Gor dry my skin, kissing my flesh with its rays to leave my body sunkissed. I can not do this anymore. Being slave has its advantages but being free gives you that much more freedom, or does it? Its as though I am starting all over again as a child, growing to a respectable and vibrant young woman who will walk with such pride and freedom to speak when needed. It is hard..
Another challenge is when around Dom..I want to wrap myself around him like an ost..torment him with my kisses. Guide his hand to those places which make me shudder with need. Being away from him keeps me desiring him but..is it also keeping us distant? Kings..I am so confused at times and with him away so much, I am left with questions. Is this how it will always be? With me sitting by a window and waiting? With Lucien I was able to bother him enough where he would say alright and take me swimming or to the arena or wherever he thought would be good for me.
Yes, I am faced with new challenges with each passing day but I will accept it and strive harder to be the woman Dom knows I am..to please him always and make him a happy man. That was my goal in the beginning yes? What changes are there now?
Sunday Aug. 6, 2006
Fear of changes...
I am pleased to know one of my fears is over. The slaver who promised he'd be back for me, did just that and Lucien ran across him. I noticed Lucien's demeanor change. Lucien always comfortable and laid back was up and around. Barely talking since he had so much on his mind. It bothered me since he wouldn't talk to me but then I realized he was doing his job when he mentioned to Dominion to keep me close. Now I worried for him.
Days had passed and on my search for suha and anoki, I came across a scroll in Lucien's room. Why didn't he let anyone know where he was headed? He went to face a challenge by the slaver. I couldn't find Dominion nor Draco to inform them of this and with map in hand, I called to Dirk to escort me to where they were. I informed the guard of what this may entail and he was ready to defend me and himself. We finally arrived and the place was quiet, we called out to Lucien when I finally spotted him. Dirk ran towards me and I wept..his blood in my hands as well as the lap of my sari where I helped him rest on. Lucien smiled to me, even in his condition he smiled to me and informed me he kept his promise. I could not understand what he meant until he pointed to the opposite side of him and his eyes closed. I grew frantic and Dirk lifted him over his shoulder. I went to the place he pointed to, to find the dead slaver. I kicked at him and Dirks firm hand gripped my arm and pulled me out of there.
We found a healer who sewed Lucien's cuts and after ahns, she came out to inform us he would be fine. Rest was needed but no vital organs were damaged in the fight which brought much relief. I headed home and had forgotten my state of bloodied hands and sari and there was panic in the house. They thought I was hurt but I was fine. After informing them of what happened. Everyone relaxed as did I.
I nursed Lucien back to health and he is up and around once more. I spend a lot of time with him as always and we talk. He notices a few things about me. I am pensive most of the time. I have no idea if Dominion heard about Lucien's ordeal, hands have passed and no sign of him. I worry. I think I have prepared myself for the inevitable. The fear of changes has finally gripped me and I have no idea which way to turn. I wait and see what life has planned for me and either way, I will accept it. Oddly enough, I am extremely happy yet lonely.
Here I stand, a hot slave who was set free. My body belongs to one man but without guidance, .I am fearful and I am lost. PENSIVE...
Thursday, Aug. 10, 2006
When I came to, I was on a ship leaving Port Olni. Lucien had to grab a hold of me to keep me calm and held me until I could cry no more. My worst fears came true. He is gone and I am left alone. Although he didn't leave me because he didn't love me anymore, he did so because he was afraid of me getting hurt since he was called on some sort of mercenary mission. He realized I would wait till the end of time for his return..Our love was one true..I had never loved like this before.
I could still see his words on parchment in my head..Schendi..I asked Lucien if we could go there and he told me no. It was best we head elsewhere since Dom specifically stated he wanted her out of harms way. Going there would actually set me in danger and he was certain Dom wouldn't want that. He made sense but I was trying to make sense of all this. I noticed my things all packed up in boxes in a corner. My dress...the dress I was to wear for our joining. I laid down and began to weep again. Lucien never left my side.
My world has been shattered and I have no idea how to begin picking up the pieces to mend them back together. I even thought of Halas but no, I can't. Not now when I am so vulnerable. I can't eat or sleep. I am exhausted. All I can think about is Dominion. Holding me close, kissing me and his words of love. I don't doubt he loved me. I love him..I will always love him and perhaps deep down inside I hope he comes to find me.
At this very moment I can't see myself in anyone's arms.. I will strive to be what Dom knew I could achieve and that's my life as a freewoman once more. I will not allow anyone to dictate to me that because I was once a slave I will never amount to anything. They fail to see before I was enslaved, before I was shown to become truly free with my body and emotions. I was a freewoman . Respectable in every way. I just needed time to adapt. The passion I felt when I thought of Dom is now gone. I feel dead inside. Maybe one will come into my life to teach me that love again, to awaken what I felt so wonderfully in my life. True love for a man I long for. My Master, my friend, my lover..my life. My Dominion.. I am left Shattered...kings help me..
Monday, Aug. 14, 2006
He surprised me but he made me laugh, finally..
I always sang to Lucien whenever we were alone. He always enjoyed my songs and the way I entertained him. These last few hands were a bit rough and he let me rest but I am feeling so much better now. We were walking down a quiet path when he just burst out and asked me to sing to him. I began to laugh and that made his handsome smile grow wider. Telling me he was happy to see my smile once more. But I said no and he would not take no for an answer. I have to say that after we sang together, it made me happy and it enlightened the heartaches I felt. I am ready to face the world, or am I really?
Lucien grabbed what looked closed to a microphone and in that deep sexy voice of his, began speaking while looking to me, I was just tickled by his actions. I watched him closely and after the sexy words, he began to sing.. I had to laugh and went wide-eyed, surprised but loved that he made me finally laugh. I sashayed my way to him with a soft rocking of hips and would join him in the song, it went like this::
All the while we sang, I would come around him and touch his body softly with mine. Smiling to him with entertaining moves. It all came back to me with such ease..I really enjoyed it and love that Lucien made me smile again..and more to come.. Here is the song we sang..
::Lucien in his sexy deep tone:
Just this morning I took a stroll through your garden.
I watched the sunrise and it made me think of you.
The way you talk to the flowers and make them grow.
And in the middle of all these flowers
There's one single stem red rose
It stood out from the rest, the fairest of them all
It made me think of what you asked me
Can you call a rose by any other name?
::Then he began to sing::
" Lady your body moves like poetry
Like a diamond in the raw
You shine for me
No one else can hold her hand up, to you girl
Cause you're everything I need in my world, Lady"
"Lately all the flowers seem to be so plain
Can you call a rose by any other name
Here inside your garden it's like I feel unchanged
Can you call a rose by any other name?"
::Lucien:: "Mmm, Take your time"
::Isabella then joined with the following , coming slowly around him while he followed with his eyes and they continued together::
"In there, I got a song for you boy
Telling the world about the joy, inside my garden
In the shade, baby
Cause my world was spinning round
Until you made my love come down, never gonna let you go
No, I'm never gonna let you go"
"Lately all the flowers seem to be so plain
Can you call a rose by any other name
Here inside your garden it's like I feel unchanged
Can you call a rose by any other name?"
::Isabella:: "Anything you want"
::Lucien:: "Anything you want"
::Isabella:: "Anything you need"
::Isabellla:: "I can make it better, just for you"
::Lucien:: "I'm sure you can. for sure you can, cause you're my Lady"
::Isabella:: "Anything you want, I can make it
::Both sang together:: "Can you call a rose by any other name?"
::Lucien:: No, no, no
::Isabella:: "Come on and play with me"
::Lucien:: "like the pretty rose you are..
::Isabella:: Your flower
::Lucien:: My Flower
::Isabella:: "Are you strong enough to be my man?"
::Lucien:: "Girl, I'd run across that desert sand"
::Isabella:: "Thats my man."
::Isabella:: "Never gunna let you go,
::Lucien:: Baby don;t you ever let me go.
::Isabella:: never gunna let you go.."
::Lucien:: "Never never let me go"
::They both sang together::
There's one thing, there's one thing, there's one thing I know
A rose is a rose is a rose is a rose
There's no other flower in my heart that grows"
::Lucien:: "A rose is a rose"
::Isabella:: "A rose is a rose"
::Lucien:: "My flower"
::Isabella:: "My rose, my flower"
::Lucien:: "Growing, growing, growing, baby"
::Isabella:: "Yes you are" (::Faded:)
Saturday, Sept. 2, 2006
Perhaps a future?
A day turns into many, many hands passing and its like the world is moving quickly. You stop to wonder about a past..a past that is long dead. A future perhaps in the making. You close your eyes and there is a vivid picture of how things should look. But at times that picture fades and another takes its place. Which is the mirage and which is in truth the real image?
A woman of course thinks of a future with a man who will in time grow to love her like no other, to bring him heirs and walk at his side with her head held high..but a past always seems to bring a shattering pause to ones dreams. I am not saying mine is like that but I am speaking in general. I have watched many and heard the innuendos, what's one to do but wonder.
I at times believe women in general tend to point fingers and whisper among themselves about others when they assume certain facts, instead of thinking of their own lives and question themselves with "what ifs."..They believe they are immune to the disease which plagues Gor. In a blink of an eye they could see themselves on opposite sides of the table while the one who was being pointed to now points back.
And still in that very instance, the one who had a past..sympatizes with the one who did plenty of pointing since she in fact lived it. So is life. Here I wonder if there is a future, there has to be or we wouldn't live it..
Sunday, Sept. 3, 2006
Missing my true freedom...
Do you sometimes lay in the furs and wish things hadn't changed at all. I still think of Halas..The one man who never stabbed me in the back. He always told me up front what to expect. I do miss him sometimes. Lucien refuses to hear anything I mention in regards to him. I suppose he wants me to try my luck at my new life as one other had wanted but to what effect?
It became unbearable at times..
I had followed Lucien into his room last night and closed the door behind me. I needed to speak in private with him. He removed his weapons and sat in his furs waiting for me. I walked over to him and lowered to sit before him..kings was I nervous..I had forgotten what I wanted to tell him!
I did feel comfortable enough with Lucien but there were things I stopped myself from asking or even doing. I didn't say anything but crawl right beside him and laid my head to his chest, his arm curling around me and I threw my arm across his chest..he was the only one I could get close to right now although there were a few men who looked at me with...hmm who knows..maybe they see me on my knees..maybe as a woman they could get close to..maybe a future?
I don't know..As Wyld said once, women tend to hide certain things and he preferred them to be outright so he couldn't keep guessing. I think I flirted a little with him, it was all innocent. Men I think are the same, they have you second guessing their motives..
While I sat there with Lucien, I looked up to him and smiled..Ironic, Since Dom set me free, I have not been touched by any man. Its frustrating sometimes but I have been a good girl so far ::chuckles:: I do miss caring for a man..miss warming him lap, miss kissing his lips..I miss it all. For the time being, I am enjoying my freedom as well and maybe I will adapt completely and be the woman of a man who would think of remaining with me then running off....As some may like a respectable freewoman in public and all that and more in the furs..
Saturday, Sept. 9, 2006
Ironic..Here I thought different but the truth slapped me in the face. Yes I have to admit it hurt..I felt as though I was used but that isn't new. My life has sadly started on a bad foot since set free. Why did I expect things to change for the better? I at times think I should have gone back to Halas instead but there are moments when I enjoy my freedom.
I suppose life evolves around chances taken. Risks and dangers which you may look back in the future and say, I regret that or no regrets ever. I was the product of a coin toss. Ironic, yes? At least I know I had a 50/50 chance. But I fell on the bottom portion of that toss and lost. He did mention to me I was the reason he was able to feel again, in considering the company of a companion which pleased me.
I quietly approached him, he was happy to see me and I in turn him. But it troubled me and he noticed. There were things said and I began to open up. I acted as though it didn't bother me. As long as he was happy but he didn't want that..He now worried for me although I asked him not to. I would be fine with Lucien, he always managed to take good care of me.
I was considering in leaving that evening but that is no longer the case. I was gifted with a bracelet which I wear on my wrist. To remind me of him after I had made a decision. A decision I may in the long run regret but I live for the moment..When around him, I can't help but enjoy his company. Seems we both needed each other. When I arrived here, I was locked up in my room for many hands before stepping out to the world once more.
I'm glad I did, he has made me forget Dom although not completely. There are times I wonder about him, how he is and if he is still alive. He did say for me to move on and so I will. Not more I can do about that. There is still a side of me which throws a red flag up in the air and I think I should listen to it but even now I wish things could be easier..